Last week I shared a story my son told me to explain why he got a "B+" in his reading class instead of an "A", which he received in all his other classes. What he told me was a story about how his teacher doesn't encourage him properly. He said that his teacher has a favorite student, and when her favorite does poorly she says things to him like "You will do better next time", but when he, my son, does poorly she says things like "You messed up". He also said that when the teacher's favorite does well she makes a big deal of it, but when he does well she says things like "You got it right this time". I had a couple of interesting responses to this and I want to share those before I let you in on my point of view.
Heidi said this: "I just want to remind you that a student's version of a story is very egocentric. Children don't always see things as they really are. On the other hand, it is hard to be positive, positive all the time. Nobody is perfect. However, I think your son has a behavior problem. This could be a reason why the teacher is less encouraging."
Victoria said: "I can't imagine how a teacher would allow an "A" student to get a "B-". She then proceeded to volunteer to visit the teacher for me.
The fact is that the teacher has no fault here. Like the rest of us, teachers go to work each day to earn a living. Like the rest of us, a teacher does not place their job before their life. Like the rest of us, they do the best job they can with what they have, and at the end of the day go home to their second job. Now that my son is going to be 13, and is soon to start in middle school, I thought this might be a good time to fill him on one of the "FACTS OF LIFE" we need to pass on to our children. I told him that his teacher does not care if he gets an "A" or a "B". That just isn't her problem. The only person responsible for whether he gets an "A" or a "B" is himself. Just because they don't love each other is not a good reason for him not do well in her class. I told him that he is probably the second or third best reader in her class. We already know he is one of only 6 students in the sixth grade carrying a straight "A" average. I simply pointed out that if he was willing to let his relationship with his teacher interfere with him reaching his goals, there is nothing anybody could do to help him. Of course, I also reminded him that I love him.