Don’t say NO, it doesn’t work. 

Teaching a child right from wrong in our society is a considerable challenge. As a parent, you cannot teach right from wrong by saying, “Yes” or “No”. You teach right and wrong by demonstrating the value of “Right” verses the value of “Wrong”. 

If you cannot demonstrate, to your child, why a decision is wrong, don’t waste your time telling your child they can’t make it. Or for that matter, if you can’t demonstrate to your child why a decision is right, don’t waste your time telling them they should make it. 

My wife loves to say “No”. It is a habit for her. No matter what you ask, she almost always says “No” without giving any thought to the question.  Then the kids argue their point until she says “Yes”, and they win most of the time. In other words, the kids don’t take her seriously because her “No’s” don’t mean anything. 

On the other hand, I almost never say “No”. Instead, I listen to the question, consider all the issues, and have a discussion about the choices available. Then I let the kids make the decision. If they make the wrong decision, we have another discussion, and another until I get it through their thick heads that I am right. 

My point here today is this. A simple “No” doesn’t work. The only thing that works is to spend the time necessary to develop the child.